Bereavement Leave: Your Complete Guide to Time Off After a Loss

What Is Bereavement Leave?

Bereavement leave — sometimes called funeral leave or grieving leave — is time off from work following the death of a family member or loved one. It allows you to grieve, attend memorial services, and begin handling the practical matters that follow a death, like notifying institutions and managing estate affairs.

Unlike vacation or sick time, bereavement leave is specifically designed for loss. Some employers offer it as a paid benefit, while others provide unpaid time off. The specifics vary widely depending on your employer, your state, and your relationship to the person who died.

Is Bereavement Leave Required by Law?

There is no federal law in the United States requiring employers to offer bereavement leave. This surprises many people. The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) does not cover bereavement, though it may apply if grief significantly impacts your health.

However, several states and cities have enacted their own bereavement leave laws:

• Oregon requires employers with 25+ employees to provide up to 2 weeks of bereavement leave under the Oregon Family Leave Act.
• Illinois requires employers with 50+ employees to provide up to 2 weeks (10 work days) of unpaid bereavement leave.
• California requires employers with 5+ employees to provide up to 5 days of bereavement leave.
• Washington State includes bereavement as a qualifying reason under its Paid Family and Medical Leave program.
• Maryland requires employers with 15+ employees to provide bereavement leave if they already offer paid leave.
• New York City, Chicago, and Philadelphia have enacted local bereavement leave ordinances.

If you're unsure about your state's laws, check with your state's Department of Labor or consult your employee handbook.

How Many Days of Bereavement Leave Do Most Companies Offer?

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics and industry surveys, the most common bereavement leave policies are:

• 3 to 5 days for the death of an immediate family member (spouse, child, parent, sibling)
• 1 to 3 days for extended family (grandparent, in-law, aunt, uncle)
• 1 day for close friends or distant relatives (at employer discretion)

Many companies differentiate between "immediate family" and "extended family," though these definitions vary. Some progressive companies now offer 5–20 days of paid bereavement leave, recognizing that 3 days is rarely enough to process a significant loss.

How to Request Bereavement Leave

Step 1: Notify your manager or HR as soon as possible. A brief message is sufficient — you don't need to share details you're not comfortable with. Something like: "I'm writing to let you know that my [relationship] passed away. I will need to take bereavement leave starting [date]."

Step 2: Check your employee handbook or HR portal. Look for your company's specific bereavement policy, including how many days are provided and what documentation may be required.

Step 3: Submit a formal request if required. Some companies require a written request or HR form. Others simply need manager approval. Ask HR what the process is if you're unsure.

Step 4: Provide documentation if asked. Employers may request a death certificate, obituary, or funeral program. This is standard practice and not meant to be intrusive.

What If You Need More Time Than Your Company Offers?

Three to five days is rarely enough. Between the funeral, legal paperwork, estate matters, and your own emotional processing, you may need weeks or even months before you feel ready to return fully. Here are your options:

• Use additional PTO or vacation days to extend your time off.
• Request unpaid leave — many employers will accommodate this, especially for significant losses.
• Explore FMLA if grief has caused a serious health condition (depression, anxiety, physical symptoms). FMLA provides up to 12 weeks of job-protected unpaid leave.
• Ask about a phased return — working part-time or from home during your transition back.
• Check for Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) that may provide grief counseling and additional support.
• Look into short-term disability if your grief has become debilitating — some policies cover mental health conditions.

Bereavement Leave for Non-Traditional Relationships

Traditional bereavement policies often define "family" narrowly. But grief doesn't follow organizational charts. You may be devastated by the loss of a best friend, a mentor, an ex-spouse, a stepchild, or a partner you weren't legally married to.

If your employer's policy doesn't cover your relationship to the deceased, you can still: - Ask your manager or HR for an exception — many will grant one with a compassionate request. - Use PTO, personal days, or sick leave instead. - Reference any "chosen family" or inclusive language in your company's policies. - Look into whether your state's laws have broader definitions of covered relationships.

Tips for Employers: Creating a Compassionate Bereavement Policy

If you're an employer reading this to improve your workplace policies, here are research-backed recommendations:

• Offer at least 5 paid days for immediate family losses, with the option to extend.
• Use inclusive definitions of family that include domestic partners, chosen family, and close non-relatives.
• Don't require proof of relationship unless absolutely necessary — trust your employees.
• Offer flexibility in when leave is taken — grief isn't linear, and some employees may need time weeks or months after the death.
• Train managers in compassionate communication about loss.
• Connect employees to EAP services and grief support resources proactively.

What Farewell Can Help With

When you're navigating a loss, the administrative burden can feel crushing — especially when you're also managing bereavement leave, returning to work, and trying to hold everything together. Farewell organizes all of the tasks, documents, and decisions that follow a loss into one calm, guided experience. From understanding your workplace rights to managing estate paperwork, we help you focus on what matters most: taking care of yourself and your family.